Wednesday, April 29, 2015

My Food Manifesto :)

I wrote this back in August 2013 and it seemed quite fitting for it to be my very first post for this food blog.  

I laughed as I read it, but stick to the original, even though I've softened out since writing it :) Enjoy!

...For The Record, just a few Random things: 

I am not vegetarian.
Nor Vegan
Nor Pescatarian
Nor Fruitarian
Nor Breatharian
Nor Paleotarian
Nor Zerosugaratarian
Nor Atkins, SouthBeach, Zone, or Dukanatarian
Nor Cardboardboxatarian
Nor anythingelserelatedtofoodatarian.

I eat.
I don't eat things called carbohydrates, or protein, or fat.
I just eat food
That I like
Which tastes good, & sometimes even orgasmic
And contributes to my happiness.

Usually things which grew from the earth
And, or things which used to breathe,
In no particular order nor consistency.
In their most natural forms
Hence I love sashimi,
And steak tartar
And veggies
And fruits
And bread
And bryndza (sheep cheese), especially. Though I don't descriminate against other cheeses
Not forgetting dark chocolate, and nuts, and seeds.

Sometimes cooked, sometimes raw, all jumbled up
Tra la la.
With the occasional Magnum thrown in
Not the gun, the almond one.

 I eat when I'm hungry, as opposed to when I should
And I don't eat breakfast
Nor lunch
Nor dinner
Nor snacks
Just food, sometimes 2, sometimes 5 times a day, or maybe more.
And water, lots and lots of water, blessed, of course.
Guiness too.  I kid you not-It saved a deteriorating mans life once, and I'm sure (well I imagine, and not guess), that if his health was to deteriorate again, he would forgo all the doctors who couldn't help him last time, and drink Guinness. Again.
Bless the Guinness too
And wine.

I don't use sun block. That's as ludicrous as water block
Though too much of anything isn't good for me, and probably you too
 Except love and laughter, there's always more to be had
And inner-peace (not peas-though I love them, but too many of them would turn me green, which I don't want to be-nothing against the Incredible Hulk nor ninja turtles, regardless as to whether they're Teenage and Mutant).

Hormones. May as well be 'mones of hor's, or "whoremoans."
I don't care about any of them, but especially: insulin, estrogen & testosterone. Nor moobs (man-boobs). I'm happy with my own, thank you, and that's enough.
And my hips. They don't lie.

Though I shower myself with love everyday, I don't, in fact, wash my hair everyday
Maybe twice or thrice or even once. A week. Whenever need be, that is my way.

I am neither fat nor thin, nor lean nor chubby. I am perfect as I am and that's why I'm so free
I don't jog.
Nor Zumba
Nor Bootcamp, per se
Nor Crossfit
Nor Strengthtrain.

I no longer have a six pack

I move. I challenge. I flow. I press. I pull. I twist. I resist. I sprint. I walk. Alot, because I love it. And I do what I love, and love what I do.

Numbers: Age.Calories.Men.Weight.Fat%age.Size.Time.
Don't matter.

Age - is what it is and matters not.

Calories - none of my business, [because if grandma turned out ok after all these years not knowing of their existence, (even with all the invisible friends whom she chats with daylong), they can't matter].

Men - Once you go Slovak, you never go back. And never say never.

Weight- Don't wait, stop now. At what point did a scale become so "holy"-determining moods, whole days & lives? Get off and chuck that shit scale out.

Fat%age - same as calories

Size-I don't have a size. I have a style and pick garments according to it ranging from 34-42, or XS-XL, in fashion jargon...Key word being JARGON. aka: bullshit

Time: I like the way 3:33 looks, 11:11 too. Otherwise, besides scheduled meetings, it isn't of importance. To me.

I am just like you, and nothing really matters. Just Live. Just Love. and laugh, don't forget to laugh.

What's your deal...who are you?

As always, love & light :*